


On the Merits of Staking as a Means of Defeating Tricksters

by Unforth



Series: Tumblr Ficlets: Supernatural [83]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chubby Sam, Gabriel is a Little Shit, If You Squint - Freeform, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, Sam is a Little Shit, implied wincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 08:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10827642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unforth/pseuds/Unforth
Summary: Tumblr ficlet written to the prompt: Sam/ Gabriel in which Gabriel secretly turns everything Sam eats into candy





	On the Merits of Staking as a Means of Defeating Tricksters

**Author's Note:**

> The past couple weeks, I've taken prompts for short fics and written and posted them on Tumblr. I wanted to post them on AO3 as well but have been considering how best to do so. A quick survey of my subscribers and followers suggests that people would prefer if I post them all as individual stories and put them in a series together instead of as multiple chapters on the same file or any other of several options, so that's what I'm doing.
> 
> Please note that I generally do not take "out of nowhere" prompts, cause I don't have time, but I will sometimes ask people to send me ideas and I'll write them in the order I receive them. 
> 
> You can follow me on Tumblr at [unforth-ninawaters](unforth-ninawaters.tumblr.com).
> 
> Make sure you read the prompt! 
> 
> [~original post~](http://unforth-ninawaters.tumblr.com/post/160330528848/akhuna01-said-supernatural-sam-gabriel-in)
> 
> Prompt, from akhuna01:  
> Supernatural - Sam/ Gabriel in which Gabriel secretly turns everything Sam eats into candy - sam would order Salad, put it on his fork and right as it hits his tongue it would turn into gummy bears. Sam would get frustrated ( but secretly loves the sweets, but would never admit) and maybe make Gabriel help him loose his newly gained weight…?

“Here’s what I don’t get,” Gabriel said thoughtfully.

Startled, Sam looked up from his lunch. He’d known Gabriel was lurking about - the conversion of his salad dressing to buttercream frosting, emphasis on the butter, was ample evidence of that - but he’d been sitting alone at the table an instant before. Scowling, Sam loaded his fork up with ranch-drenched romaine and took a pointed bite.

It tasted like cake.

Vanilla cake with blueberry filling and honey buttercream frosting.

Goddamn that was good.

Sam turned the level of his scowl up from 5 to 11.

“Wow, holy bitch face!” Gabriel laughed. “Okay, not - not, like, holy, as in ‘of God’ - not that you’re not a fine specimen, but - like dude if looks could kill!”

Sam repressed a smile. He loved when Gabriel got so flustered he couldn’t finish a sentence. 

“You started to say…?” Sam schooled himself to apparent anger and took another delicious bite of not-salad.

“Right, right, sorry, you’re extremely distracting.” Gabriel gave his head a quick shake. “What I don’t get is, why the ranch dressing? It’s a salad, right? It’s supposed to be _healthy_. And, like, a year ago? The _old_  Sam would _never_  have heaped his salad with dressing - okay, scratch that, _old_  Sam was all _balsamic vinaigrette, no cheese or croutons, extra cucumbers, please_.”

Sam shrugged. “What can I say? People change.”

“Yeaaaah…no…I call bullshit,” said Gabriel. “You used to get all pissy high and mighty with me and now… _ranch_. _What_ changed? ”

 _You did_.

“You know I can read your mind, right?” Gabriel added, rolling his eyes.

“Uh huh, sure you can,” Sam mirrored the eye roll.

God he loved these conversations.

And Gabriel _didn’t_  know that.

So Gabriel _definitely couldn’t_ read his mind.

“I heard that!”

“Really?” Sam asked. “What did I think?”

“Nothing I’d share in public,” Gabriel replied with a suggestive eyebrow waggle.

“Right, well, if that’s all you’ve got, may I finish my lunch in peace?” Sam said.

The next forkful of salad tasted like eclair.

Gabriel disappeared.

“Fiiiiine,” said Gabriel.

The next forkful tasted like Sour Patch Kids. The following was funfetti. The one after that was ice cream with all the fixins. Judging by the heavy feeling in Sam’s stomach, it wasn’t merely a flavor thing, the food _actually_  changed - and had all the commensurate calories.

For once, he and Dean had separate hotel rooms. Sam had spewed some line about giving Cas and Dean some privacy, as if they needed it, but the truth was…

The truth was, Sam had a lot to think about.

The truth was, Sam had put on some weight of late, and was definitely getting pudgy around the midriff and jiggly at the tricep.

The truth was, Sam asked for ranch dressing so that when Dean shot him a skeptical look about his weight gain, Sam had a plausible excuse, even if he then had to listen to 20 minutes of _what’s the point of ordering salad if you’re going to pack on the pounds anyway might as well eat something that actually tastes good_.

The truth was, Sam _liked_  the way he looked now, liked the taste of the junk food, liked that Gabriel’s attention was on him.

__Why don’t I just tell him?_   
_

“Gabriel, who art in heaven, would you get your feathery ass down here? We’ve got some shit to talk about,” Sam intoned, eyes skyward.

A rush of feathers, a single golden one drifting to the floor, spoke to Gabriel’s arrival.

“What up, my lemony squeeze?”

“You’re making me fat,” Sam said without preamble.

“Aw, come on, you know you love it.” Gabriel really had that suggestive eyebrow waggle down to a science.

“Yeah, well, Dean _hates_  being my workout partner,” said Sam. “If you’re going to keep stuffing me with desserts, you’re going to pay the consequences.” Sam advanced a step toward Gabriel.

“What’s that…what’s that mean?” Gabriel took a step back.

“What do you think?” Closing in on Gabriel, Sam smiled, showing his canines, eyes veiled as he tried to look dangerous. Gabriel quirked a skeptical eyebrow at him - _seriously, he needs to teach me how to do all that eyebrow…stuff…it’s like their independently muscled or something_  - and backed into the wall.

“Well, you and your brother have already staked me, what, twice? Three times?” Gabriel put up a defensive hand.

Sam boxed him against the wall.

“I’m going to stake you so many more times than that,” Sam murmured, sultry, against Gabriel’s ear.

Sam kissed him.

Gabriel tasted like candy.

Because of-fucking-course he tasted like candy.

Gabriel spluttered, protested, kissed back, spluttered some more, then burst out laughing.

“ _Really_? _Stake_  me?” Gabriel managed between guffaws. “ _That’s_  your pick up line? And if _that’s_  what you mean by ‘workout partner’ I can see why your _brother_  isn’t interested! Leave the incest to the angels, bucko!” 

With a leer, Sam grabbed Gabriel’s arm, spun him around and slammed him against the wall. Gabriel’s laughter broke off with a gasp that sounded suspiciously like a moan.

“Here’s what I don’t get,” growled Sam. “You are an archangel. You can leave anytime you’d like. And yet…here you are.”

Gabriel huffed a strained laugh. “As long as you _love_  ranch dressing, I’ll be here.”

“That’s what I thought.” Sam nipped a kiss against the hot flesh of Gabriel’s neck. “Definitely staking you. Repeatedly.”

“You do that.” Gabriel pushed back against him, just hard enough for Sam to feel the resistance, not nearly hard enough to escape.

Usually explicit consent meant a hard _yes_. But in the case of an archangel who loved innuendo and could disappear at will if anything happened he didn’t secretly want?

Sam ripped Gabriel’s pants down.

Oh yeah, they were going to have _so_  much fun on Sam’s new exercise regimen. 

Even if he never lost a pound…


End file.
